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M. Mikle

Toxic Teammates - how to spot red flags and avoid the drama

Updated: Nov 29, 2023

Somehow there is always one. That teammate that finds fault in everything. They stir up the drama and they rarely celebrate others success. They think it is cool to not care. Identifying red flags in a teammate early on can help you navigate potential challenges. Here are some red flags to watch out for and strategies to focus on improvement, have fun, and protect your mental well-being:

1. Consistent Negativity:

  • Red Flag: A teammate who is consistently negative, complains frequently, or always sees the downside of things.

  • Strategy: Encourage a positive mindset by highlighting the team's achievements and setting the example for positive talk. A quick "Nice job!" or "Yes girl!" goes a long way to shifting the culture of the team.

2. Lack of Accountability:

  • Red Flag: Someone who consistently avoids taking responsibility for their actions or blames others for their mistakes.

  • Strategy: Foster a culture of accountability by openly discussing mistakes and learning from them. Encourage open communication and problem-solving rather than assigning blame. A team chat at the end of practice that encourages all to talk about what the team did right and what the team did wrong channels the focus in a more constructive way. Don't be afraid to acknowlege your own mistakes and own them in a mature way. That may be the example this negative person needs to stop blaming others.

3. Unreliable Work Ethic:

  • Red Flag: A teammate consistently not putting in sufficient effort. Making excuses when falling behind in drills or exercises.

  • Strategy: Lead by example and openly acknowlege other teammates that are giving their all. The lack of effort from a toxic teammate will be even more noticeable to all or they will naturally start to step it up in order to avoid embarrassment or consequences form the coach.

4. Lack of Team Collaboration:

  • Red Flag: A teammate who undermines team efforts or others success and doesn't try to be part of the team.

  • Strategy: Emphasize the importance of teamwork. Encourage open communication and foster inclusion. Suggest some team activities outside of practice and games and invite everyone. The negativity may be coming from the toxic teammate because they don't feel like they fit in or haven't been included.


To maintain a positive mindset and protect your mental well-being:

1. Focus on Solutions: Instead of dwelling on problems, focus on finding constructive solutions. Encourage a problem-solving mindset within the team.


2. Set Boundaries:

Establish clear boundaries to protect your mental well-being. Know when step back and focus on self-care. Some comments from the toxic teammates just need to fall on deaf ears.


3. Celebrate Achievements: Acknowledge and celebrate team achievements, no matter how small. Positive reinforcement can boost team morale.


4. Seek Support: If you're struggling with a challenging teammate and nothing seems to work, seek advice from a mentor, parent or coach. They may provide valuable insights and assistance.



soccer teammates female


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