It's not you, it's me - How to politely tell a College Coach you aren't interested

Oh you should be so lucky! If you have multiple schools interested in you, there may be a time where you have to narrow down your search and have a tough but necessary talk with the coach of a school you are no longer interested in. So how do you do it? Ideally it is a phone conversation. If you have built a relationship with the Coach and they have invested time and energy into recruiting you, a phone conversation is the least you can do. In order to avoid freezing, stumbling over your words or getting really anxious, write down some key reasons for why you are looking at other schools. It may be the location, the major you want, the size of the school, etc. Those are simply facts that you can't ignore in the search for the perfect school.

If you are hoping to land a spot on a roster for a higher division school, simply say that you are interested in playing in a different conference, but be realistic in your own abilities and opportunities. We know many players who received offers in all divisions including state colleges/JUCO and NAIA (private schools) and didn't choose D1. That choice is yours to make and comes with so many compelling reasons (that we will save it for another article).

Leave out the negatives (you didn't like their coaching style or the players on the team), as it doesn't really add any value to the conversation. Don't be surprised if a coach asks you where you plan on going. You aren't obligated to tell them but they may just be curious if they will see you in the same conference or if the school you picked is wildly different than theirs. If you stick to the facts as to why you selected another school, it should a relatively quick conversation and 99% of the coaches will appreciate that you let them know and wish you well. That 1% will reinforce the fact that you made the right choice!

Don't forget to thank the coach for the opportunity and the time and effort they have invested in your during the recruiting process. It is a true honor to have a school interested in you and it needs to be said.

If you have accepted an offer to another school, time is of the essence. Be a responsible athlete and call the other coaches before they find out from someone else. NEVER post your committment on social media without telling the other schools first. See the process through to the very end in an upstanding and respectful way. Be a class act.

If you don't have a strong relationship with a coach or if you are in the early stages of recruitment and you feel it would be appropriate to let the coach know via email, below is a template you can use to draft the update to the coach. This shouldn't be the first option (use the phone for heaven's sake) but if you have only communicated via email, here's a template you can use as a starting point:

Dear [Coach's Name],

I hope this message finds you well. I wanted to express my gratitude for the time and effort you've invested in getting to know me and sharing information about your school's athletic program.

After careful consideration and discussions with my family, I have decided to pursue other opportunities that align more closely with my academic and athletic goals. I want to emphasize that this was a difficult decision, and I have the utmost respect for [School's Name] and your coaching staff.

I appreciate the interest you have shown in me and the positive experiences I've had throughout this recruitment process. I wish you and your team continued success, and I hope our paths may cross in the future.

Thank you again for your understanding.

Sincerely, [Your Full Name] [Your Contact Information]

(Feel free to personalize this template based on your specific situation and the relationship you've developed with the coach. It's important to be honest and express gratitude for the coach's time and efforts in recruiting you.)

We hope you find this blog helpful and we hope you are in the tough position to have to tell a school "no" because you found another school that you love. That is a wonderful accomplishment and a huge CoNgRaTs! from BallGirlSports.com!