Everything you need to know about handling a difficult situation is contained in a quote by Mark Twain:
“If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.”
This quote is used when you have a ton of work to do in the corporate world, but it also applies to how one should own their mistakes. There is nothing worse than thinking all day about how you are going to handle a situation. It will consume you and often we make it out in our heads to be way worse than reality. When speaking from the heart (one of the hardest things to do for some people), if you keep planning on what to say it may come out scripted and not appear genuine. Don't get me wrong, you should think about what to say and how to handle your "frog", but you shouldn't dwell on it. Make a plan and execute it. The sooner the better.
Taking ownership of your actions and taking the necessary steps to resolve a problem are an absolute requirement in life, so why not strive to be good at it? We learn that it is important to own your mistakes in sports, but then push through them and move on. But what if it involves the feelings of another person? What if you do something wrong and you need to come clean? What if you aren't being the best version of yourself and you need to apologize? Those aren't things you ignore. You need to confront them and address them. It helps you grow and it shows others that you care.
Here are some quick tips:
Ask permission to speak to a person at a time that is convenient for them. Especially if you hurt them. Ask if you can speak with them and let them decide when the time is right. Even a text to say "I want to talk about what happened. Let me know when you can talk." The key word is talk. You shouldn't apologize over text and think that you are off the hook. It needs to come out of your mouth.
Fixing things isn't about placing blame on others. Even if you don't like how another person acted, this is about you apologizing for your actions. If they want to apologize too, then great, but it isn't a requirement or your goal in the conversation.
It's ok to stumble over your words. That just means it is really coming from your heart and it is genuinely how you feel in the moment.
Stick to the facts. Adding a bunch of fluffy details isn't necessary and may cloud the message. For example, "Mom, I broke your (treasured item) and I wanted to let you know right away because it was an accident and I am really sorry."
Say what you need to say and then just listen. You may not like what you hear and that is something you just need to swallow. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and their perspective on the situation may be different than yours. By acting quickly, there is less time for others to paint a different picture of what happened. It will still be fresh, so everyone knows what really occurred. If you are owning your actions and trying to fix it, most people will respect that and will work with you to come to a resolution.
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